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ugh!!!!

  • Sep. 21st, 2009 at 5:56 PM

i'm starting to notice a pattern.... WAITING!!!!!!  i wait for class i wait to sleep i wait for him to come home to me... i wait for him to call i wait to get food... i wait to graduate college and live my life my own way.... shit i wait more often than not... and idk whether to be happy about it or not... I'm terrified about him leaving for war and him coming home and finding out i'm not the one he wants to be with i know he says that wont happen but how and i suppose to know for sure... i'm terrified that if i dont get in better shape that he wont love me anymore... i'm irritated that my grandmother can only see me as a fat person instead of her grandchild... it pisses me off that my " sister" can just delete me out of her life without so much as an explatation... she acts as if i went out of my way to find her... NEWS FLASH she went out of HER way to FIND ME.... and i'm sorry i'm such as screw up of a little sister for her... but shit no one gave me and instruction manual and sure as fuck i have never grown up with an older sister... how am i to know how i should act around one....

      i might of overreated when she gave me our dad's last name..payne... but the only time i EVER use payne is through my penname or if i ever become and actress it would be my stage name...... but not my normal everyday name... that is an insult to my mother who yes i might not get along great with.. but that woman did raise me on her own..
            i am probally most worried about school... i cant fail this semester... at all.... i have to bring my grades up big time.... but that doesnt mean i'm not worried about him... i'm just stressed!!!!
~ kristina payne~

BackGround for my new charector Elane

  • Feb. 13th, 2009 at 9:15 PM


Elane is half vamp half human and this is my rough draft....


Mom and Dad

Elane Half Vamp -> Father vamp (freshly turned) mother 22 yr old human named Elise. Father's named Edmund was  24 when "died" turned... turned when Elise was 20 (2 yrs before) they met in college Dated for 4 yrs Edmund proposed before he was turned. They were going to wait til Elise graduated from college to be married. When Edmund was turned he would drink from her Elise but mostly from his frat friends.So he could retast alcohol, plus he would never drink them to death..After Elise's 21st birthday she didnt tell Edmund that she had gotten off the pill three months prior and was pregnant. She was in class and passed out and was rushed to the hospital the baby was lost and Elise had 13 pints of blood transfused into her body. Edmund thought Elise had turned into the monster he had become.And he started to cry and tried to distance himself from her. but after four months of not having sex or touching Elise,Edmund's need and Elise's seduction had finnally paid off. Four months after the loss of Elise's first child she concieved again. ELise went to her OBGYN and went to her friend who was working in the blood bank when she felt weak to that she would faint from blood loss.Her friend would give her the blood. The blood was more nurishing to the child and the vampirism. Elise in giving the the blood to the child it put the vampi into a recessive state and the human to the dominate state. Then Elise was ALWAYS eating chicken and eggs and sausage. After being pregnant for 3 months she told Edmund. He was furious. Elise and Edmund started to fight over their child. Edmund wanted the child aborted Elise wanted their child. Edmund left the house and Elise moved to her friend Allison's house. allison who is the friend who works at the blood bank. Edmund calms down and tries to talk to Elise. She chucks her engagement ring at him and slams the door. Edmund sens roses and has the ring attached to one. Edmund would call Allison and give Allison money for helping him with Elise and the baby. When Elise was six months Allison told Edmund when the doctor's appoitment was and where. Edmund showed and Allison left Elise and then Edmund apologized profusely. Elise raised her left hand adn showed him the ring. He gave her, her favorite crooked smile and kissed her passionatly and rubbed his head on her stomach over their child.He realized that she would love him still if she knew he was a vampire and that the child might be, but he realized she would love and take care of them both as she would anyone. They found out they we're having a healthy baby girl. Elise moved back home. And that night they spent sharing their love and future and Edmund felt the baby kick. They got married because Edmund deemed it necessary. So Elise at 7 months married Edmund. Elise had never look as stunning and radient ever before to him. The pregnancy seemed to glow and Elise's light colored skin and honey brown curly hair that no matter what alaways seemed perfect. Her green eyes looked like emeralds and Edmund took Elise's breathe away with his muscular 6'4 frame sandy blonde hair and captivating bottomless blue eyes. Elise was trying to hold back the tears for their simple yet perfect wedding. After they had kissed their daughter kicked her and would rarely stop kicking. The child's vampiri had kicked in when her father's vampiri arora touched her. The child was awakening and Elise was giggling and  playfully chiding the child inside of her. Edmund didnt thin anything else of it. But just kept cooing to the baby who continuly kept kicking until Edmund had left her alone then Elise assumed the child knew her father's voice not that the child knew the man was deadly and could kill both her and her mother. Elise and Edmund had been trying to do the nursery in all pink and pick out the her name Elise decied on Elane Guinevere. Elise had always loved the legend of King Arther and her favorite charector was named Elane and the fact it began with the letter E worked for Elise. At 8 months the baby was fine but Elise became weak and was put on bed rest. A week later her water broke. she went into a long and painful labor. edmund was terrified and sad that he was unable to be with his wife.
But his blood lust was too much and he wanted both his wife and daughter too be safe. When Elane was born the doctors had a hard time pulling her away from Elise. She didnt want to be washed. She almost instictively grew two sharp teeth at a nurse's wrist. When Elane nicked the skin the nurse yelpped and the incisors went back into her mouth. She fell and begain to wail.....

Writer's Block: Resolved

  • Jan. 1st, 2009 at 11:56 PM

A lot of resolutions, from the mundane to the truly ambitious, are being made today. What are your New Year's resolutions? Do you think you're likely to stick to them past the month of January?


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i would try hard to... but i know that life does get in the way but if push comes to shove just to write about how boring your life is one way to stop writer's block

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